Conversation Control
Source: Margerison C J (1988) Managerial Consulting Skills
- a practical guide; Gower
In all advisory work many words are exchanged. It is therefore vital to have
skills in managing conversations. Such skills can be called conversation
control.
| The essence of conversation control is your ability to
manage your own conversation - it does not mean manipulating other people’s
conversation although it does imply giving it gentle pushes in particular
directions from time to time. |
The best way to be effective is to understand what you say
and how you say it so that you can influence others through your own
example. It is likely that if other people see you behaving in a
reasonable fashion and exercising control over what you say, then they
will respond in a positive way. |
Chapter 5 of Margerison’s book deals with this topic in some depth by
saying a few things about each of the following topics:
- when to be problem centred or solution centred
- when to converge or diverge
- when to emphasise facts or feelings
- when to speed up or slow down conversations
- how to identify cues and clues
- how to summarise and move conversation forward
- how to recognise, understand and appreciate, but assert your views
- how to move from the past to the present to the future
- how to manage win/lose aspects of conversations
In all of the various conversation dynamics the most important thing is to
remember what the client says about him or herself. That is the key to raising
energy levels; that is the key to action.
Note many of the words in the above list are given special meaning by
Margerison. It is well worth reading the chapter to see what he is on about.
In giving advice, seek to
help, not please your friend.
Solon
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