Confronting Avoidance

 

Example of avoidance or denial in action	Person's strategy	Possible way of confronting it
Person uses generalizations as a basis for believing that he/she cannot do anything differently. That is the way the system is and people must learn to cope.	Generalising	"How specifically does this relate to the children that you actually teach?" "Do you really feel that Powerless?"
Person uses a catastrophic fantasy as an excuse for avoiding responsibility and not taking action. I couldn't possibly do that, my colleagues would never speak to me again.	Creating catastrophies	"Would it have to end up that way?" "What is the worst thing that could happen?"
Person talks about anything and everything rather than face up to his/her particular problem. It's funny how things happen, I went to see David the other day and ....	Rambling	Focus on "what" and "how" rather than "why".
Person blocks out awareness of any internal dialogue between an experience and his/her own feelings and thoughts. That doesn't worry me at all.	Creating internal blocks	"Not the slightest bit?" "That doesn't seem to match your non-verbal messages"
Person blocks out awareness of other people's behaviour and attitudes. I don't think that children really worry about tests.	Creating external blocks	"Have a look at __, What do you see?" "What are you aware of?"
Person minimises his/her own feelings or the extent of his/her problems as the basis for believing that they don't have to be faced. It doesn't matter, honestly, it is not really worth worrying about.	Minimising	"Does it really not matter? You obviously thought it worth talking about".
Person has rigid expectations of others and frequently uses them as a basis for subsequently being angry or disappointed. After all I've done for this school I expect better treatment than this.	Creating rigid expectations of others	"How long have you had this expectation?" "What are the consequences of you having this expectation?"
Person uses old rules of behaviour even though they are not helpful in dealing with current problems and relationships. We've never done that sort of thing in this school.	Sticking to obsolete rules	"How does that rule help in this situation?"